Today’s Happy Note: World Cup watching with friends! Also, I got to see the room I am going to be living in come September and it is nice and relatively spacious (for a dormitory).
Workout: Five and a quarter mile HOT run followed by a 90 minute vinyasa class at Yoga Shala. Sometimes I feel really stressed out and can’t get into a run; usually this comes down to having pre-planned my mileage and route. I have found that if I let myself go for however long I want, however far I want, and in whatever direction I want, I feel much better. I always felt that if I let myself run the way I actually wanted to, I wouldn’t go far enough or burn enough calories. But that isn’t the case at all! Being happy and calm during a run is definitely worth sacrificing a mile or two. And you know what? When I’m happy, I usually end up running further anyways. It’s kind of a win-win situation.
Onto other things. More edible things…
Hi. My name is Caronae. And I like food. Tasty food only, of course. Non-tasty foods need not apply.
Protein ice cream = always tasty.
I’ve never met a blueberry-banana smoothie that I didn’t love.
And egg, cheddar, and greens sammies never fail to produce many, many noms.
My camera died just before dinner but it was so delectable I just might die if I don’t describe it: mahi-mahi burger (from WF) topped with a “salsa” made from basil, pineapple, and cucumber. Served with a side of leftover pasta salad. This is pretty much the definition of summer dining.
I am slowly coming to the realization that it’s okay to like food. I’m writing a little memoir/vignette for a writing exchange with Sarah and it is about food. At first I was infuriated at myself for choosing a food-related memory. Our topic was simply “Summer.” Why couldn’t I write about playing on the playground or swimming at the beach or going on canoe trips with my dad? But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that food is a healthy part of both our emotional and physical lives. It sustains and nourishes us, but it also makes us happy and helps us connect with others. In the memory I chose, food (specifically a miniature pie — sorry for the spoiler Sarah!) helps me connect to my sister and clarifies my love for her. The food, as a child, helped to outline the ways in which we related.
I often stare at thin women who seem to be eating large meals or, well, pretty much anything other than salads. I envy them and think, “how do they eat so carelessly?” But I have been able to reframe that question as of late and have begun to wonder “why don’t I just let myself enjoy food more?” Sometimes I might want to eat a big dessert at a restaurant, or have a slice of pizza after a night of partying (okay, so that only happens like twice a year or so, but I needed an illustrative example). Sometimes I am so focused on eating — eating X amount of fruits and veggies or forcing myself to eat a meal at a certain time or restraining myself from overeating — that I forget about the actual food!
It’s just food! And damn it, sometimes it is meant to be enjoyed. Those women I see eating “without abandon” are not necessarily voracious bingers who have endless problems in their relationship with food. They might just be enjoying a nice meal. So I am making a new goal for myself: really think about what I am eating. Make more consciously enjoyable choices. Maybe having a big dinner out is okay. I am sure that it has become clear I struggle with balancing my eating. Too much/not enough/too healthy/too unhealthy. But I think that part of the answer to this little dilemma lies in simply enjoying the food that I am eating at the moment I am eating it.
So tonight, as I was eating my fish and my pasta salad, I decided that I wanted a glass of almond milk on the side. Normally, this sort of extravagance would not be allowed. But is a small glass of milk ever going to kill me? Am I so concerned about getting fat that I can’t eat what I want sometimes? I don’t want to live like that. In the past week or so, there were a few days when I ate my afternoon snack at 3:00, instead of between 4:00 and 5:00 which is when it is normally “allowed.” This is obviously ridiculous.
So. Hello! My name is Caronae. And I like my food. Sometimes I eat it purely out of hunger. Other times it is a social thing. Other times, it fulfills a want. And this is okay. It is hard for me to accept this new way of eating, but I am going to try!
This week is looking to be busy. Lots of work stuff. Hopefully some nice changes in therapy. A personal training appointment. Events with friends!
What is on your plate (forgive my pun) this week? Anything exciting?