Grainy Day

Today’s Happy Note: Sleeping in!  I don’t work until 10 some mornings.  I passed out at eleven last night and woke up at nine this morning.  I felt wonderful!

Today was just one of those days where I wasn’t happy, wasn’t sad, wasn’t angry or excited or anxious.  It’s not that I didn’t feel anything, it was all just sort of murky.  Hard to describe.  Not really like I was in a funk but just sort of…cloudy?  Not gloomy though.   I am generally a very emotionally sensitive person and I feel things very deeply; this was almost a welcome break.  I wasn’t depressed or moody at all.  I guess the day just sort of glided by and now that it’s over I can’t quite characterize it — like it was a grainy photograph.

I spent two hours with friends this evening doing stuff for work.  I had a really wonderful moment somewhere in there where I forgot about all my problems.  I love how friends can do that.  I realized that I wasn’t thinking about food or money or sadness.  I wasn’t berating myself over my size.  I was just me.  I love how being with people I care about sometimes solves all my problems.

Friends and loved ones, of course, cannot fix everything.  Sometimes there is a deeper sadness.  But, as L has helped me figure out, it is possible to survive the sadder times.  I will survive.

A few weeks ago I was having a particularly anxious day at therapy and L asked me what helps me calm down.  Running, reading quietly, taking a nap, and just sitting with someone I love who cares about me.  That last one really is a big thing, and I am coming to see more and more lately how healthy relationships affect me.  When I told her my list, she said simply, “I care about you.”

It was one of the nicest things someone has said to me in a long while. Reason number 14224 why I love her.

Do I add nut butter to everything I eat?  No.  Just most things.

Confession: I just realized that part of the reason my dinners never fill me up is that I am afraid to have it in more than one plate or bowl.  Which means there is usually only one thing involved, and that is never enough!  Tonight I had a big bowl of oats with peaches and dark chocolate and a small bowl of yogurt with coconut and a sprinkling of trail mix.  It did the trick.

I have been loving me some grains lately — literally craving them, which is pretty unusual for me.  I tend to fear excess carbs, but let’s face it: no one ever died because they were eating too much oats and brown rice and millet.

Today was a rest day.  Normally I do weights and kickboxing on Mondays, but between a long run yesterday and speed work tomorrow, I wanted something a bit calmer.  I did a little over three miles walking and 20 minutes of yoga and abs.  I don’t like waking up super early to run and would prefer to do it around three or four, ideally, but it is going to be hot hot hot tomorrow so I know I have to get out by seven.  Uh-oh, that means it’s past my bedtime now!

Goodnight, sleep tight.

Oh, and hello new readers!  Don’ be afraid to say hello. 🙂

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Long Run Eats

Today’s Happy Note: Got in a really good balance of friend time and relaxation time.  This balance is always hard for me to find, so it’s encouraging when it works out and I get to see people I love without feeling overwhelmed.

And see the people I love I did! Starting bright and early this morning…

Bloggers!  Left to right in the picture above (taken in a weird digital window thingy): Jess (Fit Chick In The City), Kath (Kath Eats Real Food), Tina (Carrots ‘N Cake), Me, and Roni (Roni’s Weigh).  Tara (Tall Tara) also ran with us but left before the pictures.

We set out for 6 miles in CP (the main loop, hills and all).  These girls are fast and I had to work!  It was good for me though.  I did another two and a half afterwards for an 8.5 mile long run, plus a mile walking.

Came home and made a giant blueberry-banana SIAB topped with a crumbled blueberry muffin (I had half on the smoothie and half as a snack in the early evening).

I read and relaxed in bed for a bit then met up with my friend Joy for yoga.  It was a good class — a lot of leg work but not too much.  Lots of binds and stretchy poses too.  And the teacher used the most amazing lemony-citronella lotion or oil when she massaged our faces at the end.  Best part!

Time for lunch with my cousin.

We went to a pretty good macrobiotic place  — I was craving some simple veg, brown rice, and tofu.  I rolled with a tofu scramble with tempeh bacon.  It pretty much made my macrobiotic lunch dreams come true (what, you don’t have those dreams?).

Got back to the apartment and rested/watched netflix.  In other words a perfect lazy Sunday afternoon.  Also prepped veggies, went for a little walk, and chatted with my parents.

Afternoon snack was big:

Chocolate-peanut-caramel protein smoothie with extra PB and a clif mojo bar.  So I wasn’t too hungry for dinner.  In fact, it had been over four hours and I still wasn’t hungry so I freaked out a little bit.  I have been practicing listening to my body and eating intuitively while I lose weight (and I think it’s a good habit in general), but didn’t want to skip dinner altogether.  I got a wee bit panicked, actually.  I made a light dinner and dessert which seemed like a good compromise.  What do you do in this kind of situation?

I am, however, proud of myself that I am getting better at understanding when I am hungry and what that feels like and what I need to satisfy it.  That’s an accomplishment.

Two scrambled eggs and lots of scrambled veggies (yellow squash, green pepper, and avocado squash) with a bit of cheese melted on top.  Nice and delicious.

I’m munching on a pear with maple PB and a few squares of dark chocolate right now.  It’s an amazing combination!  If I could only eat one food for the rest of life, it might be PB; it’s got great taste, fats, protein, and carbs.  Pretty wonderful if you ask me.  What food would you choose?

So here we have another full day of (long run) eats.  I think it was probably a good amount but I just kind of feel full.  Maybe it’s just hormones/bloating?

Whatever.

Busy week ahead.  Things to look forward to:

~Lots more running

~Celebration/graduation for the students (my babies!) in second job

~Time to cook/bake/experiment in the kitchen in the evenings

~Top Chef

~Lots of magazines and books to read

What are you looking forward to?

Happy Sleep, Happy Eats, Happy Self

Today’s Happy Note: I just saw the cutest commercial ever.  It was for chiquita bananas and showed a little baby banana traveling to our stores….adorable.

Seeing commercials for things like bananas makes me happy!  Better advertisements for bananas than Lucky Charms and Double Stuf Oreos.

Speaking of produce. Go read this article.  It talks about organic vs. non-organic produce in terms of pesticide contamination.  Holy wow!  Many common produce items contain 47-67 pesticides!  Egads.  I think the best option is local; I get as much produce from the farmer’s market as possible.  After that, I get organic when affordable.  Some organics are priced similarly to conventionals, while others are a bit outrageous (like grapes).  One of the scary things about this article was that it put forward the idea that some pesticides can’t even be scrubbed off of produce — the chemicals actually seep into the entire plant.  Yuck.  As a student constantly on a budget, this is something I worry about.  Do you worry about this? Maybe it’s not worth the worrying.  I do the best  I can.

No workout today!  I read a post on Fitnessista the other day where she mentioned she woke up tired and skipped a morning workout.  So simple (and obvious –duh Caronae) but so brilliant!  I often drag myself out of bed in the morning to get a workout in before the rest of the day takes over.  Today I opted for the sleep.

Early morning wokrout pros:

  • It’s over and done with
  • Energizes me for the rest of my day
  • Cool outside, not too humid
  • Leaves time in the evening to relax
  • I can’t put it off

Late afternoon/evening workout pros:

  • Sleeping in a bit
  • Leisurely breakfast/morning
  • Less likely to be late for work
  • Makes me tired for bed

In my mind, morning workouts work better for me.  The only problem is that I need an inordinate amount of sleep.  It’s taken me a while to come to terms with this.  I’m not one of these 6-7 hours a night people.  I need 8-9 hours if I am going to be functional and energetic during my day.  I’ve been doing well going to bed early, but sometimes I want to be out with my friends.  I think this is something I’ll have to play by ear; some mornings are going to be more inviting than others.

Lots of happy eats today!

Dinner: exactly what I was craving.  Vanilla Almond Butter and raspberry jam with a side of apple slices.  Disordered eating fact: I have a secret fear of eating fruit (as opposed to vegetables) with dinner.  Fruit has more calories and more sugar, obviously, but it is also perfectly good for you.  And I had plenty of veggies with lunch.  Tonight I was really craving an apple so I went for it!  Perfect little side dish.

Notice the little G&B?  Green and Black’s 70% is my go-to dark chocolate.  Never fails.  Creamy but also deeply chocolaty.

Mental Health Note: No therapy this week (L on vacation)!  Makes me a little nervous.  I’ll probably do some journaling tonight, maybe a little bit of stream of consciousness type of stuff.  I need to at least get some thoughts out; sometimes in therapy I just spew and spew and spew.  I’ll miss L’s insights and kindnesses this week.  But that just means I’ll have to come up with my own!  Here’s to being kind to myself!

Adventure Friday: Milk And Cookies And Yoga

Today’s Happy Note: Listening to my body.  I had this whole big workout planned for the evening, but when I got home from work I realized I wanted to do something a bit simpler!  At first I was nervous to ditch my plans for an hour long run followed by an hour yoga class.  I just went to the class and am so glad I did.  It was the perfect amount of movement!  Often, I am afraid to do a shorter, less intense workout (although yoga is actually pretty hard!).  But my body knows when it needs a break and I’m proud of myself for listening.

Perhaps a long run is in store for tomorrow.  We shall see.

I also walked a few miles today all over the place.  I went in search of dumbbells at TJMaxx but was unsuccessful. Where else should I look for low-priced sports equipment?

Announcements, announcements, announnnnnncements!

I have decided to stop tracking my calories!  May not sound like a big deal but it seems significant to me.  I’ve been doing it for a few months and I think I’m at a point where I have a better idea of what portions should be, what kind of food combinations keep me full, and how much I need on different days.  SparkPeople was definitely useful, but I think that if I go too much further with it, it might become obsessive and I do NOT want that.  I have become more intuitive with my food choices and am excited to improve even more, learning how to eat when I’m hungry and nourishing myself well.  With things like raspberry sorbet, of course.

So what was that splendiferous looking dessert from yesterday?

Warmed-up brownie (that I somehow burnt in the microwave) topped with raspberry sorbet and crunchy peanut butter.  That’s it.  So simple, yet so splendid.  I feel like this was a really eloquent dessert.  Does that make any sense?

I used this kind of sorbet:

It’s called Talenti and the flavor is Roman Raspberry.  Smooth, icy, sweet, deep.  Yum.  Okay, so I have a story now.  And I like to talk so I am going to tell it to you.

I thought that I didn’t like sorbet — I mean why not just go for the Ben and Jerry’s, right?  But when I was “home” (in MI) at my mother’s house, she bought this about two days before I left.  She bought it especially for me and I didn’t get a chance to try it (I was out for dinners, didn’t want it for dessert, etc.).  For some reason, this sorbet took on a massive emotional meaning for me.  I literally got to my apartment in NY and cried over it.  I wanted to be with my mother, eating it in the backyard in the evening, watching the peonies open.  I still want this.  But I live here, in NY, by myself right now.  And I confess: I am lonely.  I bought the sorbet a few days ago because it made me feel closer to “home.”  I’ll probably make a picnic for myself for the holiday.  And eat alone in the park.  My friends aren’t here right now.  Loneliness is a terrible feeling.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.  Being lonely and anti-social has, time and again, proved to be one of the worst things for my mental health.  I seriously spent like ten minutes talking to the cashier at TJ’s this evening.  I will have to find ways to be social and meet new people this summer.  It’s not really an option.  I need people.  Making friends as an adult is hard.

Eats hodgepodge!

I like it when egg yolks get golden yellow, and they’re somewhere between drippy and solid.

Adventure Friday

Being that today is Cookie Friday and Adventure Friday (as every Friday is, I suppose!), why not combine them?  I wanted to run to a new bakery, but just was not in a running mood so I combined a trip to Milk and Cookies with my visit to Yoga Vida. It was a pleasant little end of the week adventure.  Not too strenuous, but still invigorating.  When are cookies and yoga not invigorating, though? 🙂

Milk and Cookies is a bakery near Union Square that is pretty well known for their cookies.  I think Ada first told me about it actually.  I went to their smaller branch which is actually inside of another store.  The woman behind the counter was really warm and welcoming.  She smiled and let me take my time and even pulled the rack of cookie sheets closer so I could get a good look at my options.  So far, so good.  I thought chocolate chip caramel, chocolate mint, and chocolate chip peanut butter sounded good.  I settled on the latter.

The good: Nice chunks of chocolate and peanuts, not too thin or too thick, decent flavor, perfect size.

The bad: The texture was off — there was no chewy, gooey soft factor and the flavor was just okay.  Too dry.  Peanuts were bland.

Overall, I think I’d rather have a bigger, undoubtedly more calorie dense cookie like the one I had from Levain.  This one was just okay.  My home made ones are definitely better.  With that said, I would love to go back to Milk and Cookies and try some of their other flavors, which may be better. Anyone else been there?

I would describe the flavor as dense, slightly chewy (but not enough), too typical, and not sweet enough or bold enough.

Summer Projects and TWO Dinners

Today’s Happy Note: Chatting with my dad on the phone and getting excited to go home so that I can visit the bakery!  Is this what normal people get excited about when they get to go home?  Probably not.  But I’m a food blogger, which is mutually exclusive to normal.  And my little town has the best bakery in the entire world.  I want to have an eclair.  And an apple fritter.  I am, of course, also getting very excited to see my crazy but beautiful family!

The no good icky bad mood has lifted! Thank the Lord.  Or hormones.  Or my therapist.  I don’t know who to thank but I do know that it’s gone!  (Insert happy dance here).  I let myself sleep in today, went for a nice (ish…) run, had my favorite mid-week treat breakfast, worked, then came home and relaxed.  No obligations.  I’m really not exactly sure what my work schedule will be like in the evenings (I am working two jobs) this summer.  My guess is that it is going to be crazy busy/late on some days and really chill on others.  But after a week of coming home from work at five fifteen and having not not much to do, I know that I am in some serious need of summer “projects.”  I am not going to start any of these until I have “officially” started my summer schedule and am back in NY, which will be in two weeks.  But I’m making a list now so I can plan and keep myself entertained!

Caronae’s Super Spectacular Fun Summer Project List:

1.  Stay in touch with old friends/family members who don’t live in the city.

2. Make regular plans with school friends who are in the city.

3. Meet new blog friends!

4. Start a planter in windowsill.  I want to grow lavender and maybe some rosemary and thyme.  I would like a flowering plant, but I’m afraid a planter won’t allow its roots the room that they need.

5. Find muffin recipes.  Make said recipes.

6. Cook a few fancy dinners.

7.  Places to visit: museums, aquariums, botanical gardens.

8. Weekly yoga sesh with my cousin.

9. Learn to knit?????

10. Buy a set of pastels and use them (sidenote: I adore pastels; they are my favorite artistic tool by far).

11. Learn more about trees and (geek alert!) take walks around the city identifying different types of trees.

12. See some dance shows.

13: Library.  Books.  Read them.  Last summer I had a “reading project” in which I read as many major Russian authors as I could (Dostoevsky, Chekhov, Tolstoy, Pushkin, etc.).  I need a similar project for this summer!  It’s actually really fun if you are a word geek like I am.

14. Expand blog.

So that’s the plan for now!  This doesn’t include everything I’ll be doing, of course (read: running), just some fun and/or new projects.  I don’t really consider running a hobby so much as a part of my life, like eating or working or writing.

What are your favorite hobbies or activities?  Anything I should add to my list?  I’m totally open to suggestions!

Exercise: I did get in my 7.5 mile run today, and it was going really well — my legs were churning pretty fast, I thought — until I had to go to the bathroom about halfway through.  Stat.  Why are public bathrooms in this city so hard to find????  I had to walk for a mile before I found one.  Ick.  I hate when a pit stop derails my run, it’s one of the more annoying things about running.  Other “interesting” things that have happened to me while running: being chased (and almost mauled) by dogs, being stopped by annoying tourists asking for directions to Columbus Circle, getting very very lost in East Harlem, becoming convinced that my mother and sister were eaten by mountain lions, and sneaking into some very sketchy woods (on many different occasions) to go to the bathroom.  Runners have interesting lives and good stories.  You should befriend one 🙂

Eats: I had my special weekday breakfast treat today: a bagel with peanut butter and sweet iced tea from the deli/bakery.  This is one of my favorite things in the world.  I used to think it was so wrong that I would let food make me happy, but life is too short not to feel happy about having your favorite foods once in a while.  I freely admit that toasted cinnamon bagels with peanut butter make me very happy indeed!

I did the whole two dinners thing again today and it worked wonderfully.  No more Hangry Caronae!!!  Yay. 🙂

Dinner #1:

Vanilla-pear protein oatmeal eaten at 5:15.

Dinner #2:

Hodgepodge salad: mesclun base with carrots, steamed broccoli, refried pinto beans, brown rice, and a 2-egg puff.  So nom nom nom nom.

Dessert:

Pineapple chobs with crumbled raspberry chocolate luna bar — I maintain that this is not only the best luna bar flavor but the best bar out there.  Period.  It tastes like a raspberry-infused brownie that you might get for dessert at a fancy restaurant.  For twelve dollars.  I’m  not exaggerating.

Do you have a favorite dessert? I like almost anything with chocolate, especially brownies and homemade bake goods.  I have also been known to eat Ben and Jerry’s (ahem, Phish food) straight from the pint.

Goodnight friends!  Happy almost-weekend!

Sad Bad Mood

Today’s Happy Note: Feeling better about therapy.  My therapist sent me a very comforting and calming response to my somewhat frantic letter to her yesterday.  That’s one thing, at the very least, that I don’t have to have in my mind right now.

Thanks everyone for your sweet comments yesterday.  Whenever I’m in a bad mood or sad or had a bad therapy day you never fail to make me feel better!  I am a lucky blogger indeed!

Unfortunately, while I am feeling a bit better about therapy, I’m still in a terrible mood.  Damn hormones.  I don’t really think there’s anything else to blame it on at this point.  I did have a good, lonely cry this evening which made me feel a bit better.  Although now I have a headache and about ten pimples.

I have felt terribly lonely over the last few days.  I sort of had an epiphany last night that friends make our lives worth living.  Even if I am only spending a few moments with someone, if that person is meaningful to me, they can make me feel so happy inside.  Friends make me feel radiant in a way that no amount of food or exercise or even positive self-talk can.  It’s another dimension of the health equation that I feel like I am just discovering — I have always had friends and have friends now, but hadn’t considered their importance to my own well-being before.  Sometimes the only thing in the world that can make me feel better is to have someone to snuggle with or someone to braid my hair or someone to just sit with.

Does this make sense? I often think of myself as a loner, but really, I’m not.  I am most definitely not a social butterfly with twenty best friends (and I never will be), but the relationships I do have with people mean everything to me.

Exercise: I came home from work tired and cranky (again!) and took a little nap.  I wanted to watch the Biggest Loser because (a) I like the show and (b) I knew I would feel motivated to do some moves while watching.  Success!  I spent the first hour of the show doing a circuit where I did 3-4 minutes cardio (mostly jumping moves a la Janetha) followed by 25 reps of a leg move, 25 reps of an ab move, and 25 reps of an arm move, then I did 3-4 minutes of yoga.  I probably went through the whole circuit 6 or 7 times.  It was a nice way to switch things up a bit.  Now that I’m not training for a half-marathon — or any running event for that matter — it’s nice to do some fun, non-running exercise.  In the next few weeks I’d like to do some swimming, bike riding, and maybe exercise classes!

Do you ever make up your own workout circuits?  What moves do you include?

Eats: Somewhat fun today!  I’m having to get creative, especially with protein and dessert options, but I’m managing.  I might have to buy some cottage cheese or black beans or sliced turkey to get me through the end of the week, but I’m really trying to hold out — I’m going home Saturday morning.  I hate wasting food.

Melty almond butter and blackberry oats=perfect way to start the morning!

Packed lunch for work!  Trader Joe’s chicken sausage ravioli with BBQ tempeh, green grapes, and carrots.

I have trouble packing lunches that will keep me satisfied all afternoon (through three or four hours), but this did the trick!  I am often afraid to include carbs in my lunch (silly, I know), but the pasta with the tempeh was a great choice for a main course, I think.

What are your go to lunches to bring when you’ll be at work all day?

Afternoon snack: clif mojo peanut butter and jelly flavor.  This tastes like real pb and j, actually.  It’s amazing!  I like all the clif mojo bars.

Dinner Part I: looks like weird pink soup.  It’s actually just watery kashi oatmeal (I love watery oats — they last longer!) mixed with cranberry-pommegranate tera’s whey protein powder.  I have to say, this was the most disgusting protein powder I have ever had in my entire life.  It tasted very fake and was way too sweet and cloying.  I should have just stuck with my regular WF vanilla whey!  Yuck.

Dinner part II: A semi-random but highly delicious combination!  I topped a base of plain spinach with a two egg puff, refried pinto beans, and a sliced pear.  The flavors worked really well together; smooth, creamy, sweet, savory.  I want to have the exact same thing for dinner tomorrow!  I think having two dinners wokred really well for me.  I am always afraid to do this because I fear that I’ll end up eating more calories, but instead of feeling ravenous after work and then ravenous again around ten or eleven, I spread everything out and felt satiated all evening long.  I might do this more often!

I just munched on a chocolate coconut chew lara bar for dessert.  It’s one of the best flavors in my opinion.  If you like laras, do you have a favorite flavor?

Definitely time for me to crawl into my bed now.  I’m hoping to squeeze in a run before work tomorrow morning so that I can relax in the evening.

Happy Wednesday friends!

Comfort

Today’s Mini Goal: Actually do some of my homework on a Saturday for once.

Sometime earlier this week my mini goal was something along the lines of “plan my weekend” so that I’m neither overwhelmed nor lonely.  I think I may have successfully accomplished this!  Last night and tonight are nights in, although I have been chatting with friends on off.  Tomorrow morning is a group run for my school road runners club that I plan on going to, tomorrow night is a friend’s birthday party, and Sunday afternoon I’m doing a 5k benefit run with other single runners at JackRabbit.

Run:

Finally got back to running today.  I wasn’t in the mood to run outside (read: I haven’t done laundry in forever and had no clean running pants) so I made my way over to the gym for six very easy miles.  It was nice and refreshing!

Eats:

My appetite and tummy seem to be almost back to normal.  Hooray!  I have been eating smaller meals and am still a bit less hungry than normal, but fruits, veggies, protein, and fat are back in my life.

Breakfast was oatmeal with dried cherries and loads of cinnamon.  You can never have too much cinnamon in your life.  Never.

I didn’t eat lunch until 4:00 (like I said, hunger cues still out of whack), but I did enjoy a chocolate covered strawberry frozen dessert (haha, saying “frozen dessert” sounds so…wrong?) from TLC in the early afternoon.

Then: errands!  Which included Whole Foods.  Which, by extension, included lunch:

Brie and pear pizza.  Ahhhhh.

My weekly splurge purchase was this baby:

Burt’s Bees Conditioner.  I love (and, let’s face it, my hair needs) a good moisturizing conditioner, and Burt’s Bees hasn’t failed me yet.  I took the picture with my arm so blatantly in it because the raspberries on the bottle match my shirt!  Yay!

I found the elusive chocolate oikos!

I just had to test it out as soon as I got home.  I had one with peanut butter and semi-sweet chocolate chips (hey, Katie said we needed to consume insane amounts of chocolate this weekend, so I had to!  I was coerced into it!).  The verdict: overall I really liked it, but the chocolate sauce on its own tasted funny (it’s at the bottom and you mix it in).  But once it was all mixed up I really liked it!  I also picked up some chobani pineapple and raspberry.  If you haven’t had a chance to try either of these flavors yet, I highly recommend them.  They’re probably my favorites, along with pomegranate.  I also picked up my first siggis Icelandic yogurt, so we’ll see how that goes.  What are your favorite yogurts?  If you’re vegan, have you tried yogurt substitutes?  Are they good?

Dinner was one of my new favorite things: bread broiled with hummus and cheese.  Also had a heap of salad.

I love bubbly cheese.  For some reason, this smelled exactly like pizza!

Mental Health:

I started having some “anniversary anxiety” last night and once it began, I couldn’t seem to stop it.  February of 2009 is when I had my meltdown, and it was no minor event. One day I was at school hiding in my room and digging my fingernails into my arms, the next day my dad and I were driving across the George Washington bridge, heading home, where I would be for six months.  It all happened so fast, and this is the first time I have really begun to process what, precisely, happened.  I’m sort of creating a narrative in my head and just trying to place things chronologically and understand why everything became so unbearable.  I ended up crying myself to sleep last night just thinking about that moment in my life.  I tried every trick that I knew; I talked kindly to myself (out loud, even), repeated the mantra “you aren’t alone this time” and tried to breathe deeply.  Nothing worked.  Eventually I emailed my therapist telling her how scared and sad and lonely I was feeling and she sent me the most wonderful,  soothing response.  We emailed back and forth during the day (how awesome is it that she doesn’t mind doing that), and one of the things she said that stuck out to me the most was this:

“The sad part of you is surfacing now, but it need not scare you. You have other parts as well… maybe even some wonderful ones that have yet to be seen!”

Very true, and very comforting.  I understand that I have sad parts and dark parts and complicated memories, but I need not be scared of them.  What a simple, yet powerful, thought.

Has anyone ever said something so clear yet so important to you?  When you are experiencing a moment of panic, how do you bring yourself back to a safe, happy place?  What does such a place even look like?

My safe space looks like a melange of different physically happy places from my life: a snow-covered hiking trail near my house in Michigan, the lit-up Parliament in Ottawa at Christmas, the most perfect meadow in Northern Michigan, my street corner in New York.

Happy Friday everyone, and have a splendid weekend!