Today’s Happy Note: Got my blood work back and everything is roughly normal! My iron and blood cell levels are all a bit low but that is to be expected at this point. Nothing that requires hospitalization=a good thing. I kept having nightmares last night that I had to go in and get a blood transfusion.
They are still doing tests to figure out what I actually have. Probably some sort of creepy bacteria. Yuck yuck yuck.
But wait. There is more good news. I can now eat things besides bread and plain noodles!
Exhibit A:
That, my friends, is melted dark chocolate. Which may or may not have been on the list of approved foods. But screw it.
Exhibit B:
Scone. It had a weird texture (a bit dry) but a great flavor. Tomorrow, I might venture into muffin territory.
Exhibit C:
This is pasta with a little EVOO and a lotta salt. An inappropriate amount of salt. And basil. I’m supposed to be consuming salt like it’s my job, don’t hate.
Other things on the safe food list: bagels, toast, gatorade, vitamin water, dry cereal, and rice. I can’t actually remember the last time I had a vegetable, which is scary. I have been eating little bits of frozen fruit here and there.
I want meat. Bad. I want some ribs and some fish and some chicken. And eggs. And meatballs. And cheese. And hummus and sandwiches and peanut butter and waffles and tofu. And protein ice cream and smoothies. Not all at once though. That would be weird.
I actually have no interest in dairy right now. To be honest, I am a little grossed out by the idea of it. I know it is hard to digest and supposedly mucus-producing; normally I don’t have a problem with 1-2 servings a day, but I think I’m going to skip out on it for a little while. I read that sometimes even after a bad GI issue like this clears up, people can’t eat dairy products.
I have felt simultaneously very alienated from and intimate with my body these past few days. A strange feeling. I trust in my body and love it’s ability to recover but it is scary to think how sensitive we are; one tiny strand of bacteria can knock us out for days, or even kill us. I already know how “dirty” the American food system is, but this just made me even more afraid. How do I know that my lettuce in a bag from California never encountered bacteria, or that my milk is completely clean?
I guess we don’t really know. Part of me wants to say “that’s why we should choose local, seasonal, and organic.” Okay, but I already do that. Literally half of the stuff in my fridge right now is from the farmer’s market. In fact, I have a suspicion that that might be where the contaminated food came from. I always wash my produce, but I suppose I could be better at it. The frustrating thing is that there aren’t many answers here. Short of growing everything I eat, it’s impossible to ensure my diet is perfectly clean.
I am honestly a bit afraid of food right now. I hope this doesn’t persist; I like food too much to be afraid of it!
But what can we do? How do we keep a food supply clean when we don’t know where most of it is coming from? How do we ensure that bacteria or diseases don’t have a chance to enter our tummies?
Run. Write. Therapy. Life. 