Weekend Workouts + Cold Foods + Things to Look Forward to

Today’s Happy Note: Food Network!  There are a few shows on FN that annoy me but for the most part I’m fascinated.  I love Ace of Cakes and Next Food Network Star.  I tend to be a much simpler cook than most of those on FN, but it is nice to be inspired sometimes, even if the dishes are a bit complicated for my tastes.

Lots of great workouts this weekend!  I wanted to do a long run but just was not in the mood to run in the heat or to do a long/continuous/boring workout.  I was actually going to be doing another ultramarathon around the island today (with the same guy I have done the last two with) but, when I realized it was going to be 85-90 degrees all afternoon, I passed.  I am NOT a heat/humidity runner at all.  Send me out with four layers in a ten degree blizzard and I’m fine.  But the heat?  I just sort of wilt.  The sun exhausts me!  I would have loved to do an ultra today but I knew it wasn’t going to happen.  I’m glad I listened to my body — I just had these terrible visions all morning of me lying in a hospital bed dying of kidney failure.  Not a good image to go into a race with.

Anyways.  My actual workouts: Yesterday I did a 4 mile run followed by 15 minutes HIIT on the elliptical and 10 minutes weights.  Today was split up into three sections: Three mile walk, 30 minutes kayaking (!) and 30 minutes yoga/kettlebell.

I must say, it is quite refreshing not dragging myself through long, monotonous workouts when I don’t want to!

What do you do for a workout when you don’t want to do something long but you still want to sweat?

Kayak pictures:

Dragging my hands and feet in the water definitely lowered my core body temperature a good ten degrees.  To a normal level.  Or so.

Lots of cold eats. Seriously, I think all of my meals today involved yogurt.  I don’t like to eat more than one or two servings of dairy a day since it can be harder to digest.  But there are just not enough cold foods on this earth.  Especially now that my blender is broken.  I do not know how much more of summer I can handle sans blender.

Anyone have any cold food suggestions that don’t consist of yogurt or frozen fruit or require a blender?

I saw someone make a list of thing to look forward to for the week the other day.  I thought it sounded fun and decided I want to participate. 🙂

  • Gymnastics class (assuming I find time this week)
  • Friday night yoga
  • Long run
  • Spin???
  • Meeting the students I’ll be working with for my non-profit job
  • Getting paid (hey, it’s important)
  • Therapy (I’m weird; I do indeed look forward to my time with L)
  • Working on my book of poems
  • Ocean swimming this weekend?

Sounds like plenty of fun!  What are you looking forward to?

Mental health note:  I have become really good over the last few weeks at identifying stressful situations.  This sounds obvious, but sometimes when you’re in a moment of panic — the internet stops working or you find out your great uncle is dying or anything really — it can be hard to talk yourself down.  I’m proud of myself for beginning to institute my self-soothing and destressing techniques.  Go me!

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Therapy Tuesday

Today’s Happy Note: New book from my therapist!  She has so many and I love picking out a new one every week.  It’s such a thrill.  More on this tomorrow.

Exercise: Went to the new gym for the first time!  It’s only a few blocks away.  I ran there but threw in some extra blocks so it was a nice mile warm-up.  Once there, I did arm and chest strength for about 25 minutes, then 30 minutes HIIT on this weeeeiiiiirrrrrdddd machine.  It’s a combination elliptical/starimaster.  So you can go forward and backward and up and down, each to varying degrees.  It was fun, but I didn’t feel like I was  working that hard.  On the high intensity minutes (I did 5  WU, 20 of 1 easy/1 high intensity, 5 CD) I felt like I couldn’t get my speed up that high.  It was definitely interesting at least and a decent workout.  I also walked a few miles in one of my new pairs of shoes and they are so painful.  I never wear heels and this is why.  Anybody know of a nice heeled shoe that is also sensible for someone who walks a lot and hates foot pain intensely?

Eats Hodgepodge (Cold Food Edition):

I cannot seem to eat anything hot for breakfast, or any other meal for that matter.  So much frozen fruit, smoothies, yogurt, cold salads, raw veggies.  That is when I have any appetite at all — I’ve been having to force myself to eat dinner in the evenings.  I have no idea why.  It’s just so hot and humid and my appetite has just gone *poof*!  Anyone else experiencing this right now?

Spidery-looking dried hibiscus flowers a good snack do make.  From TJ’s.

Therapy Tuesday

Today, for the first time in a month or so, things went beautifully again!  Looking back, I see a lot of microscopic shifts in behavior for both of us.  My relationship with L (I’m tired of saying “my therapist” every two sentences so I’m officially changing her designation to “L”) is sort of a microcosmic social relationship with its ups and downs.  I still cannot pinpoint exactly why the very idea of therapy has made me feel so intensely distraught over the last few weeks.  I do know that I have felt a rather poisonous mixture of the following: fear, anger, sadness, and confusion.  Going forward, I think that I feel more comfortable just being in therapy.  It has become one of the safest spaces in my life.  Maybe that’s what my anxieties and frustrations over the last few sessions have been about: getting out those last residual feelings (sad/bad/mad/scared) and moving into a place where therapy and my therapist can, even in times of intense distress and sadness, be the ultimate comfort.  I have, of course, felt comfortable before, but I think maybe it can be a more consistent thing now.  I know I have said previously that there is a difference between happiness and comfort, but I have not quite grasped these concepts as individuals.  As their own unique sets of feelings and experiences and words.  So this is actually a revelation for me!  I just moved through a storm in therapy, I suppose.  Through it, I knew that if I came out still warm and breathing and speaking, there would be a turning point.  And so comfort is the turning point: I have an idea of what it means now.  How to soothe myself.  How to allow others into my most intimate life and to let that be a comfort.  I am simply more aware of that here, on the other side of the storm.  The constant know in my heart has been replaced by a simple idea of comfort.

Today we talked a lot about loneliness and friendships.  I have always felt like a loner — even when  have had many friends.  I’ve always felt somehow on the periphery.  I’m noticing myself for this but not making a judgement.  I am not actually fundamentally unlovable.  I told L the ways in which I feel unliked and undeserving of love, and even as I listed them, they sounded ridiculous.  And, in fact, for the first time in a long time, I mentioned parts of me that I like and think other people might like as well: my hair is long and thick and has a certain power to it.  I find my spine and back very quiet and elegant and graceful.  My ability to be compassionate and fundamentally good towards others stands out.  It’s rather strange to hear myself say these things, actually.  But also healthy.  I don’t distinctly feel unloved anymore.  I’m in a more neutral space now.

The fact that I have not spent my life in the “in-crowd” reflects the ways I am unique, not my “unlikeable qualities”.  I gave L a sort of resume of my life in friendships and it was surprisingly joyful to look back and see how much I have loved people and been loved in my life.

Goodnight loves!