Love And Spaghetti Squash And Jeans

Today’s I am proud of myself because: of how open and brave I was that day in the park when I met USB.  At that point in my life, I was truly convinced that I was unlovable, romantically speaking.  That no one would ever want to be with me. Sure, there were parts of myself that I liked.  But I thought that I was just too weird for anyone else to ever like those elements of me.  I wanted to meet someone.  I was 20 years old, about to start my senior year of college and had never had a serious relationship.  I had made out with a few boys.  But that was about  it.  Nothing ever clicked.  With USB, everything clicks.  I didn’t know it then, but I think a big part of the sadness I have felt over the last three or four years — the constant aching in my chest — was simply because I wanted to share my life with someone.  And now I do. And it is even more wonderful than I imagined.

I didn’t do a happy note!  It was really hard for me to change, lol.  But sometimes change is good, as USB has taught me. 🙂

Just wanted to say hello quickly and hear about your weekends!  I haven’t done any full workouts yesterday (Friday) or today.  The social time is infinitely more important for my health.  I probably walked a few miles both days anyways.   I also got in plenty of studying.

Other exciting things:

My first spaghetti squash!

Believe it or not, spaghetti squash has always been a secret fear of mine!  I steamed it in the microwave for about 10 minutes (cut in two halves, with the flat side down).  At first, I took it out and didn’t see any spaghetti!  I freaked out, thinking that I was a spaghetti squash failure.  That, or the farmer had simply sold me a different type of squash by accident.  But then I noticed about a teaspoon worth of “noodles” and scraped those out.  Lo, and behold, the scraping produced more noodles.  So I kept scraping and more and more noodles appeared!  Slowly, a giant smile crept onto my face.  It was great fun.  Seriously, if you’re ever super stressed, try scraping the noodles out of a spaghetti squash.

Totally unrelated, but relevant to the blog as a whole: yesterday, I went shopping.  Clothes shopping.  Clothes shopping is not easy for someone who hates every little part of her body.  I went to a bunch of different stores and kept telling myself over and over again, “you will look fat and horrible in that; you should not even try it on.”  I was starting to get really down on myself.  Eventually, I wound up in a designer jeans section at a discount store.  I am NOT a clothes elitist — I don’t have the money to be — but I truly believe that with things like jeans, and dresses, a really nice brand can sometimes look and feel better, making it worth the price.  I got into my determined mode and said “Caronae, you are going to try on some jeans and find a pair that you like and you will look beautiful and you will buy them.”

And I did.  I found a pair of jeans.  They are Seven brand.  I have never had a pair of Seven jeans before, but these really are quite nice.  I like them a lot, and a tiny part of me thinks I look decent in them.

So there. Take that, jeans.

Time to go find USB! 🙂

What are you all up to this weekend?

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13 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. ~Jessica Zara~
    Oct 24, 2010 @ 03:06:42

    I can never get spaghetti squash right! Whenever I try it, it always ends up tasting so bitter and watery, which is annoying because I love the texture.

    I am sure you did indeed look wonderful in your jeans, and if something makes you feel good then it’s worth spending any amount of money on 🙂

    I wish I could be as brave as you were with USB ~ maybe one day I’ll be able to be 🙂

    Today I am going for a walk with Katie (Under the Stars) around the parks in Newcastle ~ it’s sunny at the moment but cold: hope the weather stays good!

    ~Jess~

    Reply

  2. Gabriela @ Une Vie Saine
    Oct 24, 2010 @ 08:17:25

    Okay, I love Seven jeans and I love finding them at discount stores. If there’s anything to shell out a bit of extra cash for, it’s good jeans…you LIVE in them and they make you so confident!! And I’ll bet you don’t look “decent”, I’ll bet you look amazing. So rock them, mkay? 🙂

    I’m so happy that you’ve found USB. Life has a way of giving you things exactly when you need them most. He really does sound like such a kind and wonderful person. Again, so happy for you- did I ever mention how much of a hopeless romantic I am?!

    Hope you have a wonderful Sunday!!

    Reply

  3. Melissa @ TryingToHeal
    Oct 24, 2010 @ 11:03:59

    i love spaghetti squash! it’s so great and can be used in so many ways!

    but most of all, great job w/ the jeans! i’m like you when it comes to shopping and it’s never easy.

    Reply

  4. Jess
    Oct 24, 2010 @ 12:58:57

    Finding good jeans is so hard! I’m the same with shoping, but I think I’m getting better, too 🙂

    And I know exactly what you mean about not being completely happy before USB (wanting someone to share your life with). I always felt like I was missing something before meeting my significant other.

    Reply

  5. rebecca lustig
    Oct 24, 2010 @ 20:08:27

    i am so so happy to read about your happiness with USB. you deserve nothing but the best and most joy!

    Reply

  6. Alexia @ Dimple Snatcher
    Oct 24, 2010 @ 23:58:05

    Hey. I just found your blog.
    You’ve sold me: I need to try spaghetti squash as soon as possible. Like this week!

    Reply

  7. Laura VV
    Oct 25, 2010 @ 00:04:18

    Thank you. Your blog is helpful to me. Your honest, genuine words about your own life are helpful to me. Your range of topics from food to therapy are helpful to me. Your recognition of love for yourself is helpful to me.
    Thank you.

    Reply

  8. China jeans
    Oct 28, 2010 @ 02:19:02

    “I found a pair of jeans. They are Seven brand.” OMG. I also never have a pair of seven jeans.

    Reply

  9. Alexandre
    Oct 30, 2010 @ 07:47:36

    I like spaghetti and your post very interesting!

    white stag clothing

    Reply

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