Thrill.

Today’s Happy Note: Getting not one but two packages in the mail!  One from my mother dearest and one from Naturally Nutty!

I won’t lie to you.  Seeing that Naturally Nutty package was absolutely thrilling (won two jars from Averie’s giveaway). Is it wrong to let nut butters be a thrill?

Don’t they look like two cute little friends?

I had to bust into the Vanilla Almond Butter right away.

And in the evening, I broke into the Chocolate Butter Toffee PB.  You know, just to even things out a bit.

The verdict?  Vanilla Almond Butter=Out of this world thrilling, food of the Gods.  Chocolate Butter Toffee Peanut Butter=Thrilling, but distinctly human.

At least they aren’t the only thrill in my life…

There are many other thrilling things, such as…

  • Spending my evening entering student data into endless spreadsheets.  After playing with spreadsheets at my other job all day.  Okay, confession: I actually like spreadsheets.  And data entry.  This probably makes me one of the Top Ten Most Thrilling Human Beings Ever.
  • Going on a hunt for cheap stevia.
  • Buying new tupperware.
  • Watering my basil plant.
  • Folding sports bras.
  • Deciding which of my two nice purses I should bring to work every morning.

It’s so thrilling I can hardly stand it.

Other thrilling elements of the day included running the Central Park loop.  For the 279th time.  That’s an estimate. Don’t hold me to it.  And actually it was kind of thrilling because I saw a black squirrel.  I have never seen a black squirrel in the city before.

And what isn’t thrilling about eating OIAJ while walking along Broadway on my way to work?  I think it’s pretty trend-setting.  More people should start their day that way.

Seriously, this kind of thing is hard core.  I live life on the edge.

In all seriousness though, I often worry about whether or not others perceive me as a  boring person.  I think this is the thing I least want to be seen as.  In general, I worry about other people’s perceptions too much, but I also think that they’re important.  Our sense of self should in no way be based off of others, but our friends and confidantes can give us valuable insight into our selves.  For example, my mother is always telling me that I yell too often and therefore unintentionally come across as aggressive.  This is a handy piece of information to have; it reminds me to be gentler around others, especially new people who might not know my softer side.  But other times, people’s perceptions can be totally skewed and hurtful.  Once, my grandfather was careful to loudly point out, in my presence, how “long and lean and slim” one of my cousins was.  I know that he is from a more antiquated era in which men had significant control over women’s bodies (not to mention minds) and that he didn’t mean to be hurtful.  But he was.  What other people think of us affects us deeply — sometimes I even find myself internalizing notions of myself that I don’t even believe in! I think the easiest way to navigate a world of confusing external perceptions is for us to develop strong senses of self in which we recognize the many ways in which we are beautiful.  If I don’t want to be seen as boring, I can seek out small thrills.  Just because I don’t spend my weekends at bars or on the couches of unknown men doesn’t mean my life can’t be thrilling.  I do all kinds of thrilling things: running in the mountains, kayaking lakes and rivers, climbing trees, buying exciting new accessories, wearing red.  I think that little thrills really are important.  That’s why I have adventures.    And there is absolutely a thrill in arriving at a sense of self: discovering new parts of me is ever so exciting.  Just this weekend I realized that, physically, I feel comfortable.  My problems with my body are not carved into my hips or stomach, they’re figments of my tricky little mind.  Getting to know oneself is fascinating.  Daily, I feel like I’m sifting through new piles of soil, finding new things.

Future Thrills:

  • Mountain climbing.
  • Writing a book (or several).
  • Learning a new language (I don’t know which one yet!)
  • Surfing.
  • Law school.
  • Tonight’s dessert.

Alright bloggies.  What’s thrilling in your life right now?  Future thrills?  Past thrills?

I think one of my best past thrills would be exploring Paris by myself.  I went with my mother when I was 13 and again when I was 18.  Both times I just walked endlessly around the city, climbing over bridges and smiling at cute boys in parks and drinking the best hot chocolate in the world.  I don’t speak a word of French.  When I was 13, I even went and found a hair salon and got my haircut completely on my own, using gestures to describe to the stylist what I wanted. Independence=thrilling.

See you all tomorrow!

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. imaginenamaste
    Jun 07, 2010 @ 23:03:20

    I think those little thrills and big thrills are equal! All fun or challenging or whatever but all for you! I laughed at the folding sports bras one–I’ve thought of that a few times, how it is so easy! I like the spreadsheet one, it is common knowledge in my graduate department that I will make any type of data spread sheet and chart….a dork? but I’m okay with that 🙂

    Reply

  2. Sarah
    Jun 08, 2010 @ 00:12:13

    Caronae, you could never be boring! Tbh I find you and your blog fascinating, and I love your enthusiasm for everything. It’s true that you have to acknowledge for yourself what makes you amazing, because at the end of the day, that is what matters above all else. Personally I think it is an attractive quality to find a sense of thrill and adventure in whatever you do…

    What is thrilling for me right now? I’m going to see an illusionist on Thursday with my brother, yesterday it was kind of thrilling to competently work the tills at work on my own, and I’m thrilled about meeting some lovely people this week, as well as possibly seeing an exhibition of Iraqi art!

    Sarah x

    Reply

  3. shesarunner
    Jun 08, 2010 @ 07:07:27

    There is nothing wrong with getting excited about nut butter! I feel like every (food) blogger has some kind of nut butter addiction, so you aren’t alone on that front.

    I think I’m the most boring person…but I guess I judge myself pretty harshly. I may not do particularly interesting things at this point in my life, but I don’t think that what I do defines who I am. I have no idea what thrills await me in the future. I wish I could figure it out. I could use something to look forward to right now.

    Reply

  4. Gabriela @ Une Vie Saine
    Jun 08, 2010 @ 14:06:25

    If I had a penny for every time I got excited about mundane things…haha, let’s just say I’d have a lot of pennies. I think it’s good to see the thrill in everyday things though. Let’s face it: there’s a lot of amazing things in life, but most of them slip through our fingers when we’re too busy waiting for the “big stuff” to happen. I lived the thrilling NYC life when I first moved to the city, and while it was fun, it was also empty. It’s easy to get too focused on fun to appreciate the little things! Lately I’ve been finding the thrill in seeing where the day takes me, rather than planning it out.

    Hope you’re having a wonderful day love!

    Reply

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