I’m Fine The Way I Am!

Today’s Happy Note: Boats!  I was going to go kayaking but it was too windy.  Instead I just walked along the river and admired the boats.  Beautiful boats!

Went for two strolls today.  Very windy — I had to walk backwards for a while!  It’s nice to have one day of the week where I don’t do any formal exercise — no yoga class, no run, no lifting weights.  Nothing planned.  Obviously, walking helps clear my head and gives my body a break from more intense activity, but having one relaxing day like this per week also helps me remember that I’m okay the way I am.  About a year ago, I remember telling my former therapist that I knew I would be perfect and finally happy if I lost 5-10 nagging pounds.  She asked me to describe how my life would be different if I lost weight (that doesn’t really need to be lost anyways).  The only thing I could come up with was that I thought men might pay more attention to me.  Um, really Caronae?  Do you really want men to pay attention to you because of the minute details of your body and weight?  Or do you want them to notice how much you know about history or how passionate you are about running and writing or your deeply compassionate personality?

Christina just wrote about this at Eat The Damn Cake. I read the post last night and my walks today helped me internalize what she said and what I do, deep down, believe: I am fine the way I am.  So simple yet so huge.

Weekend brunch/breakfast is and always will be the best meal of the week.  I try to do something I wouldn’t do on a weekday (oatmeal, smoothie, yogurt, cereal).  It’s glorious to sit down in a sunny kitchen with a morning meal that I feel like I’ve actually created and read the newspaper (or blogs).  No rush.  Nowhere to go.

Today I did a cinnamon raisin bread French Toast with apple and peanut butter.

Doesn’t the peanut butter look like it’s making a little blanket over the apples?   Like it’s keeping them warm?  I actually used some peanut butter oil/drippings in the egg batter.  I couldn’t really taste it in the finished product though.

Fun fact: I got a basil plant (!) at the farmer;s market yesterday.  His name is Balthazar Basil and his sister on the windowsill is Fanny Fuschia. If you didn’t know I was weird already, now you know I’m extra weird.  Like, I-name-my-plants-and-make-pretty-signs-for-them weird.  Hey, it was a fun art project!

Basil is my favorite herb.  Least favorite: cilantro.  Although, unlike most cilantro haters, I don’t think that it tastes like soap.  I just don’t like it.

Dinner was fun and easy!  I call it Lazy Girl Tacos.

1 chopped carrot

1/2 head chopped broccoli

1 veggie burger of choice (I used Dr. Praeger’s tex-mex)

1 egg

1 wrap/tortilla (multi grain gives it a nice chewy texture)

Steam vegetables in microwave (you could use other veggies as well) in a few inches of water for two minutes.  Remove and drain excess water.  Add veggie burger and egg.  Cook entire mixture for another minute.  Remove and break up burger and mix entire mixture thoroughly.  Heat one more minute.  Remove and place on tortilla.  Consume.

Not sure why this works so well given the five random ingredients, but I think it’s amazing.  It really is very taco-like!

Dessert #1

TLC (Oreo and peanut butter flavors).  Light and pillowy.  Makes me feel like I’m eating a cloud!

Dessert #2 (just wanted a tiny something before blogging/bed).

It is one of my core beliefs that you can never have too much peanut butter and chocolate.  They’re a woman’s best friend.

Hoping to squeeze in a CP run tomorrow morning — I haven’t run the main loop in a few weeks!  Tomorrow is a very busy day and I’m hormonal.  Let’s hope I don’t get too crazy and bite someone’s head off.  So much for the “compassionate personality” I mentioned above.  Oh, and my L is on vacation this week.  Hopefully I’ll survive.

Do you feel like there is something wrong with your body the way it is?  Or have you learned to let go and just be at peace with things? I think that, for individuals who are not dangerously overweight or having health problems related to lifestyle, it is actually healthier to just accept ourselves.  I have expended so much mental energy hating myself.  Now, I put that energy towards doing things I like!

Goodnight and have a fabulous Monday!


8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sarah
    Jun 07, 2010 @ 00:15:20

    Aw that is so fab that you have named your plants! You are so creative 🙂
    I like the idea of turning all the energy we spend hating and berating ourselves into something more positive. This is something that I have been thinking alot about recently, especially in terms of all the energy I spend worrying, which could better be conserved for more productive purposes.

    Sarah x


  2. Gabriela @ Une Vie Saine
    Jun 07, 2010 @ 06:49:14

    Lurve basil, especially with tomatoes and mozzarella!

    I spent so much time agonizing over my not-flat stomach and lack of butt before realizing that I’m the only one that sees my body as horribly disproportionate. Sure, if I had a magic wand, I might change those things, but I’m damn proud of the things my body can do. My boyfriend has told me so many times that he loves my body the way it is, and as silly as it sounds, it has really helped with my OWN confidence to know that someone finds me attractive exactly the way I am!! It’s often so difficult to see how beautiful we really are, but you ARE BEAUTIFUL…you are strong and compassionate and have a radiant smile and loving eyes, and you WILL find someone who loves all of that. God has someone for all of us, I promise 🙂

    Hope you have a wonderful Monday!!


  3. Kyle
    Jun 07, 2010 @ 10:51:23

    This post speaks to me – because it’s SO TRUE. I’m not dangerously overweight – I just don’t look like what I *think* I should look like according to societies standards. I ran a freaking 1/2 marathon earlier this year, and I’m worried about a few pounds of fat? I need to chill and focus on my ability, not my appearance.


  4. Christina (Dinner at Christina's)
    Jun 07, 2010 @ 15:25:45

    Thanks so much for mentioning my post! I’m glad it resonated with you as much as it means to me too!

    You are too cute w/ the plant names – that is totally something I would do. Of course I also come up w/ songs for my pets and sing them to them at the top of my lungs. hahaha 😛


  5. Joanne
    Jun 07, 2010 @ 16:09:03

    Oy I have so many body issues it’s insane. I have body image dysmorphia and so no matter what…I just can’t see myself for how I really look. I still see myself as the overweight, 50+ pounds heavier girl that I was a few years ago. It’s insane. And I know it. But I can’t help it. It doesn’t help that I’ve put on about 10 pounds from not running. And now am doing everything I can to take it back off (just until my pants fit comfortably again. I’m going slightly crazy, can you tell?) Meh anyway. My weight has always been an issue. Will always be an issue. Although maybe. WIth time it will be less of an issue.

    PB and chocolate are the best. I love that you named you plants! So cute.


    • caronae
      Jun 07, 2010 @ 16:28:07

      That’s how I feel; that my weight will always be an issue. I’m learning, verrrryy slowly, to let it go, or to at least make it less of an issue, as you say. I will always be a woman who, physically, struggles with weight because of insulin/metabolic/genetic problems, but I will not let it bother me mentally.


  6. Kate
    Jun 07, 2010 @ 20:25:27

    you have the coolest yellow dishes!

    i’m not going to lie, i am trying to lose weight. i know that i put weight on due to unhappiness and depression and now that i’ve attended to that stuff, i would like to lose about 7 more pounds. it has been a slow process losing the first 13 but it is coming off slowly but surely. i try not to fixate on it too much.


  7. sonia
    Jun 15, 2010 @ 17:39:24

    I name my plants too 🙂 When I lived in the dorms I had an ivy named Ernie and his named was painstakingly enscribed on his pot in glitter glue…


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