Daily Creativity: Lots of cooking experiments! And perhaps more journal writing later tonight.
I got lots of things done today, at least in spring break terms. Which means I did like two things. But whatever. Hair cut, eyebrows waxed, massage (omg so nice), run, shopping, food experiments. Okay, maybe I should elaborate.
I hit the trail with my mom (she walks) for five miles this morning. They were some of the most brutal five miles of my life. Oh. My. God. I have no idea what was going on — I haven’t been doing high mileage lately, I’m not exhausted from school, I’m not sore from weights. I just could not move. My legs and arms felt like lead weights, especially on the hills, which are long and steep. I couldn’t even walk up some of the hills, I had to waddle. It was probably really painful for any squirrels or woodpeckers watching me.
I hate that I can’t pinpoint the problem, especially given that I’m four days out from the NYC half. I know I’ll be taking it easy with a few 3-4 milers between now and then, but I’m getting antsy. I hate tapering because I feel like I’m not working hard enough and therefore haven’t “earned” my calories. Gah. And I hate my brain for having this mindset. And I’m still working hard and moving plenty too; I might do a few miles and an hour of yoga or some abs and walking. Plus, why are my runs feeling hard this week (okay, only today really, but still)? I know it’s just the taper jitters. But a part of me that I don’t love is surfacing right now. The scared, anxious, sad part of me. And all because of running, which is something I love, so this doesn’t even make sense. Okay, I’m definitely spewing here; does this even make sense?
Basically, I am feeling food guilt and I am getting nervous about the race. Being home should be relaxing, but it actually makes things a little tricky for me. I have always had a lot of trouble with serious life transitions, and going back and forth between rural/suburban Michigan and Manhattan is always a big transition. No matter how many times I do it — and I’ve probably done it a good fifteen plus times at this point in my life. It usually takes me a few weeks to adjust to one environment over the other; they’re just so sensorily different. In New York there are ambulances and subways and a million people and trash in the streets and beautiful old skyscrapers. In Michigan there are hooting owls and piles of crocuses and trails and old friends. I wish I could get used to going back and forth. A part of me thinks I am weak for struggling with the differences, but I know this is the depressed part of me. Not the self-esteem filled part. I know that it is hard for me because the two places are very different physically and conceptually they mean very different things to me. It is okay to be a bit confused when I go back and forth. It is okay.
That’s totally not what I intended to write about when I started this post. That’s what I like about writing and blogging; I can start out talking about how I felt on a run and two minutes later I’m talking about the differences between Michigan and New York. My brain moves very quickly, I guess.
Onto the eats, I suppose:
This is a semi-successful attempt at an interesting waffle. One of the things I love about being home is experimenting with breakfast foods; the options are limitless! I’m working on a guest post for Sophia about a “you are what you eat” food and so I’m creating new recipes each mornign while I’m here and seeing what works out. While this guy was decent and certainly unusual, I’m afraid he doesn’t make the puclished recipe cut, unfortunately. It was basically a homemade dark-chocolate/orange/walnut waffle. The flavor and texture didn’t turn out quite right. I topped it with PB and grapefruit jam (!!!!) which was really good. I’ll have to remember to take a picture of the jam tomorrow since it’s so wonderful.
I went to Trader Joe’s today so that I could stock up on all my favorite unique TJ’s items and ship them back to myself in NYC. How hilarious am I. But seriously though, the NYC TJ’s lines are out of control, and there were no lines at mine whatsoever. I just walked right up to a register. It was splendid. I was chatting with some of the cashiers and told them that I actually live in NY but was buying stuff here to send myself a little care package so that I could avoid the lines there. Then they were all like, “oooo, the Union Square Trader Joe’s”? And I said, “yes.” Apparently, it is a dream for many of them to go to the NY TJ’s. It’s the TJ’s mecca. How funny is that?
I’m a tired little duckling (hey, I’ve got to be seasonal!) so it’s time for me to go to bed!
Have you ever had a total, inexplicable workout fail? And are you a TJ’s person? If not, you should consider having your brain checked…