Daily Creativity: Photography time! I wandered around my yard and documented all the springy plant growth. There wasn’t quite as much as I hoped, but I could definitely feel that distinct softness to the earth and a twitching in the shrubs:
Hello rhododendron! Hello daffodil shoots!
Hello Japanese Maple! Hello hyacinth bud!
Hello magnolia tree! Hello crocuses!
Not sure if I’ve ever told you guys this, but I’m OBSESSED with flora. I just love plants of all kinds. Especially orchids and trees. Pine trees. Beech, birch, willow, cherry. I like nature. Speaking of nature it was the most beautiful day in the world today. No wind, sunny, mid-50s. I live in the center of a small town near all the schools, which means that there are about five playgrounds within half a mile of my house. I rode my scooter around (serious exercise people) and played on the playgrounds. No joke. You should try it sometime. There are few things more satisfying than playing on swings and slides and strange climbing contraptions as a full-fledged adult.
My scootering-playgrounding time was actually a pretty good workout, but it was so lovely that I couldn’t help going to the park too. I did six miles (2 warm-up, 2 tempo, 2 cool down). The run was just okay — I felt too loose, kind of like a blob of jello running on two legs? My mom actually told me that I looked really loose and relaxed today. I can’t decide if this is a good thing or a bad thing.
What I’ve Been Munching On:
I’m going to do a mini therapy Monday recap since I didn’t post last night at the end, but for those of you who may not want to read it, I’ll share some eats first.
The star of the show:
SIAB! Oh blender, how I’ve missed thee. This bowl of glory contained 2/3 of a giant banana, about a cup of frozen raspberries, 2 tbsp peanuts, 1 tbsp flax seeds, 1 C low-fat milk, and a giant spoonful of plain Greek yogurt. Topped with a crumbled kashi trail mix bar. Heaven. In a bowl. This lunch made me so happy, and sometimes food should do that. And it kept me full through my afternoon of serious playtime!
Airplane dinner (sorry it’s blurry): AB and pumpkin butter sammy on a whole wheat roll, carrot sticks, trail mix, dried fruit and ginger cat cookies. Looks like a lot of food but this kept me well-fed from 2:30 when I left my room until 10:30 when I made it home!
All around, lots of good things.
I felt like I made a huge breakthrough in yesterday’s session. I always leave therapy feeling like I have learned something new or understood a different way of approaching a situation or just shared important and scary parts of myself. But yesterday was different; something finally clicked on an intellectual level. That something sounds very simple, but is hard for me to grasp: over the last several months, I have really come to understand the importance of loving myself and taking care of myself. When I want to see a movie with a friend, I do that. When I want to curl up in my bed with Herbert (my stuffed duck) and a good book, I do that. When I want a mocha, I have one. Seems simple enough, and really, it is. But I knew that I was missing something — taking care of myself felt rewarding, but there was still a deep and ongoing sense of sadness and hopelessness in me that I couldn’t quite pinpoint the origin of. I won’t go into the details of how I arrived to this understanding because it is not something I want to share on the blog, but suffice it to say that after a lot of tears and frustration and even arguing with my therapist, I realized the following: in addition to actively taking care of myself, I have to stop carrying around other people’s problems. I have a certain tendency not just to absorb other people’s (rather serious) issues, but to let them affect me and drive my own feelings. This is not good. I do not need more mental baggage than I already have. No matter how much I love a person, I cannot carry around their darker side, their hopelessness. It’s too exhausting. Duh, Caronae. This was a painful truth for me to come across, and I give my sweet therapist a lot of credit here. In the name of pushing me to open up and to look deeper, she said some things that annoyed me, but I think in the end we arrived somewhere. I felt like there was just a decisive conclusion at the end of the session and I felt so joyful and grateful.
Okay, that’s more than enough rambling for today!
What’s going on in your lives? I feel funny having been “absent” from blogging for a day! Oh, and I need tips: now that I’m home I have access to a large and fully-equipped kitchen (i.e, blender, wok, grater, beater, rolling pin, etc.) and I want suggestions on what to cook! I know I’ll be doing Evan’s/Averie’s avocado chocolate pudding and lots of smoothies (possibly the one Mama Pea posted today — looks so good!) but what else?
I have seen so many delicious recipes in blog world lately that I don’t know where to start. Help!